My Little Pony

First up....

"My little pony, my little pony, isn't the world a lovely place?"

That's what I thought until I came across this horrifying article about how the makers use REAL HORSE MEAT!!! in these fruit snacks!!  

"My Little Pony" Chewy Fruit Snacks Found to Contain Horse Meat

I was debating whether I should just throw the whole box out, when I saw the title of the website.  I was relieved to discover that "Glossynews.com" posted a not-so-much credible as it is hilarious article about this "sad day for both the children's snack market and the equestrian community."  Thankfully, I can go on to rate this particular brand of fruit snack just as proudly as I can still look any horse in the eye.

My Little Pony brand Fruit Flavored Snacks

Pros: Naturally Flavored, Gluten-Free, 20% Vitamin C and 90 calories per pouch, Super-cute pony on the box

Cons: Modified Corn Starch, Artificial Colors

Texture:            2/5...............Way too soft, almost goopy.  The perfect fruit snack will be more solid, as well as chewy.

Flavor:              5/5................I was very surprised.  The real fruit juices make the flavors spot on.  I recommend the cherry.

Presentation:   4/5..............All opaque(!!!), which is always the best tasting.  Discernable, cute shapes.  Nice variety.

Although the box lists the flavors as strawberry, cherry, grape and orange, we're left to wonder what the green and blue snacks are supposed to be.  My best guesses are apple and blue raspberry, respectively.  No weird aftertaste from fake sugar, which is a plus, although the texture is very disappointing.  

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Whilst enjoying my little ponies after dinner and listening to my parents discuss the broken garbage disposal, my dad actually uttered the horrid phrase "gummed up" four times in conversation!!  I paused mid-chew each time with my mouth open, filled with a sudden dread.  I ended up throwing away the last green and orange snacks left from the bag, since I am not so much a fan of citrus flavors, in hopes that the omittance of those few ponies would somehow slow the gumming of my colon parts over time.  I'll just pray my stomach acid is strong enough for now.

-All Gummed Up

Fruit to the Snack Intro

A blog about fruit snacks?!?!  Lame.

Maybe it's the fond childhood memories and flashbacks to happy endings of brown bag lunches.  Maybe it's  a combination of the sugar-high you get when you accidentally eat a whole box and the seemingly tasteless, yet somehow delicious, modified corn starch which always seems to find its way onto the ingredient list.
Or maybe it's just a texture thing.

Regardless of why I love fruit snacks to such a strange extent, I will continue to declare that love until I find something more interesting to blog about.  Plus, it gives me a reason to eat more fruit snacks.  This, however, is a double edged sword according to my friend, Ellen.  She has an aunt who apparently ate too many fruit snacks and other fruit snack-like objects, got "gummed up," and now has to poop in a bag for the rest of her life.  I am in no way making fun of all the beautiful people out there who have the misfortune of carrying the permanent accessory of a colostomy bag.  In fact, I admire you.  I could never do it.  This is why getting "gummed up" will forever be a constant (yet often forgotten) fear that will arise periodically during my search for the perfect fruit snack.

Let me briefly define the term "fruit snack" to avoid any confusion.

Fruit Snack- n. (pl. fruit snacks, adj. fruit-snackish, adv. fruit-snackedly)
Any fruit-flavored food product of a gummy consistency, which may or may not contain fruit, sugar or anything found in nature, but is delicious anyway.

That was from the dictionary, I'm not making that up.

I hope you'll join me in my search, and feel free to comment about your favorite brands, least favorite brands, or how pointless this blog is.

-All Gummed Up